Some things Money can't buy
by Mercury Gray
Summary: A Parody of the Mastercard commercial...intended to be funny, but I really don't know...read it and see what you think.
1. Here it goes

These were really random musings on the Master Card commercial, thought up partially by one of my roommates. Each charater has one...read and tell me...whatever. I really don't care what you say, as long as you keep it civil.  
  
Oh, guess which character gets each one!  
  
-*-*-  
  
One walking stick-25 dollars  
  
Emergency flashlight for when all other lights go out-50 dollars  
  
Courage to destroy evil forever- priceless.  
  
There are some things money can't buy-for everything else, there's Master Card.  
  
-*-*-  
  
Bow with elven hair-150 dollars  
  
Lembas bread- 15 dollars  
  
Rubbing your good looks in everyone's face- priceless.  
  
There are some things money can't buy-for everything else, there's Master Card.  
  
-*-*-  
  
Roses for girlfriend- 20 dollars  
  
Cost of re-forging a sword- 50 dollars  
  
Marrying the love of your life- priceless  
  
This is the same character, case you didn't know.  
  
Sword- 120 dollars  
  
Cloak to hide identity from unsuspecting hobbits- 20 dollars  
  
Finding out your biggest rival doesn't hate you- priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy-for everything else, there's Master Card.  
  
-*-*-  
  
Orc army- God doesn't even know how much  
  
Visine for itchy red eye-10 dollars  
  
Being beaten by a man three foot six tall-priceless.  
  
There are some things money can't buy-for everything else, there's Master Card.  
  
-*-*-  
  
Horn- 50 dollars  
  
Studly looking sword-120 dollars  
  
Making friends where you thought you'd find none- priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy-for everything else, there's Master Card.  
  
-*-*-*-  
  
New white robes-75 dollars  
  
Haircut and bleach-35 dollars  
  
Being able to rub your power in your rival's face-priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy-for everything else, there's Master Card.  
  
-*-*-  
  
Scarf- 10 dollars A pint of ale- 5 dollars Going on an adventure you won't soon forget-priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy-for everything else, there's Master Card.  
  
-*-*-  
  
Well, that's it for now, folks...if you want me to think of more...well, that would be really monotonous, but I'll do it for the sake of laughing everywhere. 


	2. Good Lord, she's done more

Well...some of you wanted more, so...here it goes. These were a collaborative effort on the part of friends, acquaintances, and family members, including my little sister, who sent me too many emails and blocked my box-You rock, Meredith. -*-*-  
  
Palantir-50 dollars  
  
Nice looking fur robe-140 dollars  
  
Going down in history as the man who burned himself to death-priceless.  
  
There are some memories too painful to buy-for everything else, there's master card.  
  
-*-*-  
  
Sword: 120 dollars  
  
Men's suit of clothes: 50 dollars  
  
Not actually being male and being thoroughly remembered for it: priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy-victory against the seemingly invincible is one of them. For everything else, there's master card.  
  
-*-*-  
  
Necklace declaring undying love for boyfriend-200 dollars  
  
Coronation banner inlaid with jewels-500 dollars  
  
Finally marrying the love of your life- priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy- for everything else, there's master card.  
  
-*-*-  
  
'Frodo Lives' t-shirt, bumper sticker, and coffee mug- 40 dollars  
  
Solid gold replica of the one ring-200 dollars  
  
Being able to proudly state that you are a Ringie- priceless.  
  
There are some things money can't buy-for everything else, there's Master Card.  
  
-*-*-  
  
Complete set of Tolkien's published works-150 dollars  
  
2 tickets to see Return of the King- 15 dollars  
  
Knowing you can rub the Legolas fangirl-sitting-behind-you's face in the dirt as a true LOTR fan-priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy- for everything else, there's master card.  
  
Not that I don't like Legolas fans, mind. No flames now...it just pisses me off when you're trying to watch a perfectly more than decent movie and the girl behind you is going "Orlando Bloom is sooooo hot!" Grr...and they call themselves true LOTR fans. -*-*-  
  
Strawberry scented shampoo-15 dollars  
  
Highly expensive salon brand hair gel-30 dollars  
  
Having more fans than the rest of the fellowship put together-priceless.  
  
There are some things money can't buy-for everything else, there's Master Card.  
  
-*-*-  
  
There's a counter to that one, though. ;)  
  
New armor-200 dollars  
  
New sword- 120 dollars  
  
Having fans that love you because you have flaws AND are studly –priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy-for everything else, there's Master Card.  
  
-*-*- This is from my reviewer, Bill. Thanks man!  
  
From: Bill()  
  
Internet- 20 dollars/month  
  
Earplugs so you can't hear your brothers-2 dollars  
  
Reading funny stories instead of doing your homework- priceless.  
  
There are some things money cant buy, for everything else there's Master Card  
  
I'm glad to know that I'm making a difference, and I'm glad you think laughter is priceless-however, I would recommend doing the homework...I happen to have finished mine already.  
  
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-  
  
I'm working on the POTC ones right now...my sister is emailing me hers tonight. In the mean time...ahh, well, I'm not pushing my luck. Just don't flame me.  
  
If you want, think up one of your own and email it to me, and if I like it, I'll put it up in the next chapter. But email it, because I don't want to have privileges revoked for...insubordination and not adhering to guidelines. 


End file.
